The adverse effects were horrendous, and the cancer continued to spread.

He was taken off the clinical trial and sequentially placed on several different therapies.

As the rest of the world started to implode with COVID-19, Evan’s cancer progressed. But the response was not durable, and soon the other shoe dropped. He applied for a vascular surgery fellowship. We got engaged and spent 2 weeks on vacation in Thailand. He felt great and was able to go back to surgical residency. The scan ended up being stable, and we never looked at another scan of his again without the oncologist present.Ī clinical trial provided Evan with 7 to 8 months of excellent disease response. I woke up to find Evan scrolling through his chest CT and comparing it to the previous scan, terrified he had found a new area of metastasis in his lungs. One scan was performed late on a Tuesday afternoon. We also learned our own limitations as physicians and that we are never objective when it comes to ourselves or our loved ones. Friday scans with Monday follow-up appointments were the worst because it meant an anxiety-filled weekend of what-ifs. The days leading up to each interval CT scan were filled with “scanxiety,” as were the hours after awaiting results and next steps.

None of these experiences prepared me for having a partner with metastatic cancer and limited treatment options.ĭiagnosed in 2017, Evan’s cancer became metastatic in January 2019, and we rode that emotional roller coaster for 16 months. I prided myself on my ability to connect with patients and to get through to families about grim prognoses. Throughout my medical training, I frequently took care of patients with critical illness, metastatic cancer, and poor prognoses. At the time, Evan was a general surgery resident and I was a pulmonary and critical care fellow. My fiancé Evan died on May 27, 2020, in the medical ICU of our hospital from complications related to metastatic salivary gland cancer.

Shared Decision Making and Communication.

Scientific Discovery and the Future of Medicine.

Health Care Economics, Insurance, Payment.

Clinical Implications of Basic Neuroscience.

Challenges in Clinical Electrocardiography.

The other side